The art of killing flies - Viz Top Tip
On the whole I don't believe in killing one of god's creatures, but I will make an exception for flies - disgusting creatures that spread germs and disease, and plague the house during the summer. But I think I'll avoid using the Viz Top Tip method of getting rid of them.
However, I do employ a vacuum cleaner method for killing flies, which is one of two techniques in my armoury for killing flies effectively and efficiently (rather than flailing about manically trying to swot them). The vacuum cleaner method provides a certain sadistic pleasure - point the nozzle vertically and aim it just below the predicted flight path of the fly, switch on the vacuum cleaner and watch the fly's trajectory change dramatically as it is sucked into the innards of the cleaner.
My second technique is more cunning and ninja-like, combining stealth, patience and tactical nous to use the fly's strength against it. Flies have compound eyes made up of thousands of individual visual receptors, called ommatidia. They can't focus and are short sighted, but their immobile eyes give flies an almost 360-degree view of the world. This especially good at picking up form and movement. So when you try to swot a fly, no matter how fast your swotting action is, the fly sees the rolled up newspaper approaching really really slowly - giving the fly ample time to react and move out of harm's way.
With this in mind, if you approach a stationary fly extremely slowly, moving your instrument of death closer to the fly, the fly detects no motion whatsoever - they are probably sitting thinking "ooh, its getting a bit dark" as a huge Independence Day shadow is cast over their world. That is the point at which to flick your wrist to deliver the killer blow. Great Success!
My second technique is more cunning and ninja-like, combining stealth, patience and tactical nous to use the fly's strength against it. Flies have compound eyes made up of thousands of individual visual receptors, called ommatidia. They can't focus and are short sighted, but their immobile eyes give flies an almost 360-degree view of the world. This especially good at picking up form and movement. So when you try to swot a fly, no matter how fast your swotting action is, the fly sees the rolled up newspaper approaching really really slowly - giving the fly ample time to react and move out of harm's way.
With this in mind, if you approach a stationary fly extremely slowly, moving your instrument of death closer to the fly, the fly detects no motion whatsoever - they are probably sitting thinking "ooh, its getting a bit dark" as a huge Independence Day shadow is cast over their world. That is the point at which to flick your wrist to deliver the killer blow. Great Success!
Comments
Post a Comment